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 LATEST NEWS

   BECKENHAM'S BEST KEPT SECRET
 

How we wish we knew a little more about Beckenham's Secret. The horse seems to be running on a pretty regular basis; its latest outing was on Wednesday evening in the 8.20pm at Kempton. Unfortunately, it looks as though the secret of its success still remains a secret as it was unplaced again. But we will keep watching its progress in the hope that it may yet yield up what Beckenham's secret is ??????

   BURLAND SIGNS


If your Company would like to advertise at Eden Park Avenue email
sales@beckenhamtownfc.co.uk ________________________________________________________


"I THINK WE HAVE MESSED UP" ADMITS COUNCIL OFFICIAL               Written by Kent Pete

At a time when cash strapped local authorities are having to account for every penny spent, the local Council is being heavily criticised for spending over £120 million on a 80,000 capacity stadium for Beckenham Town Football Club whose average attendance last season was a mere 720.

Playing in the Kent League, Club secretary Ian Moore admitted, "To be honest we were surprised when we put in the planning permission. We only did it for a laugh. Nobody expected to be taken seriously. Let's be honest we struggle to get 800 people here on a good day. If it's cold nobody turns up.

He continued, "To come in for pre season training and see a magnificent 80,000 seater stadium with cantilever stand, under soil heating and parking space for over 5,000 cars was just unbelievable. We thank Bromley very much but to be honest when Whitstable turn up to play here on Saturday week we are going to be a laughing stock. They brought six away fans last season and two of them left at half time to go shopping ".

Speaking from a secret location somewhere near Plymouth, Peter Bradshaw, Head of Sports finance for the beleaguered Council said yesterday, "I must admit I think we have messed up big time over this. We only have an annual sports budget of £45 million. There will be some serious questions to answer that's for sure. I'm just glad I'm going on leave for the next fortnight."

If anyone would like to buy a ticket for the Beckenham Town vs Whitstable Kent League match on Saturday August 18th 2007, please ring 099872 1001856. It should however be possible to buy one on the day. At present there are 79,405 tickets remaining.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Reproduced from the www.thespoof.com  web site

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Happy Huntley

Becks manager Jason Huntley was all smiles at the final whistle on Saturday. Huntley had plenty to smile about; not only had he had just seen his side record their first win of the season but was delighted at the close season ground improvements. Huntley, talking exclusively to the club's website after Saturday's victory, stated "obviously it's always good to get your first win of the season under your belt.  I didn't think we played anything like as well as we did at Greenwich on Tuesday, but we got the three points.  Slade Green proved to be tough opposition - they're no mugs - and with the new squad it's going to take a little time for players to settle in."  Huntley, commenting on the ground improvements was quick to acknowledge the work that has been done.  "The improvements to the bar, changing rooms and the other facilities are absolutely fantastic.  It's a real buzz to see the club looking like this". 

Improvements nearly complete

Close season improvements to the off-field facilities at Eden Park Avenue were not quite complete in time for Saturday's first home game of the season.  The impressive improvements include the bar area which has been completely re-vamped, along with the kitchen and toilet facilities.  The changing rooms are now accommodated separately from the clubhouse and a separate treatment room has now been put in place.  Whilst the refreshment facilities may have been improved, Becks friendly "Catering Staff" remain the same.